Perder a una amiga

Perder a una amiga No hay palabra para explicar este sentimiento, escuchar el teléfono y que te pregunten si he hablado contigo. Que te digan que tienes un tiro en la cabeza y que estas en una coma. Me quedé en una pieza. Rápidamente solo pensé en las últimas conversaciones que tuve antes de que te fueras acostar a dormir para siempre. Que rápido pasa el tiempo cuando te tienes que ir. El tiempo no para, el tiempo es una bala que a todos nos mata. Me hablabas de lo cansada que estabass de estar aquí. Hasta que alguien por fin te sacó del sufrimiento de estar aquí. Las drogas fueron tu paraíso en dentro de una pesadilla despierta. El ver todo lo que viste y como lo repetias una y otra vez. Haciendo chiste de todo a la vez para esconder lo que es,un trauma sin duda una herida que no paraba sangrar de una vez. Y leo tus escritos tomando todo lo que tu una vez me haz descrito. Queriendo sentir lo que tu sentiste por que es la única forma de sentirte nuevamente.

Where does inspiration go? Where is it? Why does it come and go? It leaves me feeling like it never happened. Like a dream inside of a dream. You remember vaguely all the details but remember overall. That feeling of regret of not doing anything when you had the fuel. Not following through. The dissapoinment that the fantasy was never real.

To lose yourself inside

What do we look for in others?  What do we lose and what do we gain in the process. Do we gain a piece of them and share it with others. Is this a neverending cycle? We get lose inside of them. Finding the pieces that are missing,then we let them go. We swallow their life with the time we consume with them. We are time consumers, devouring people's life.

We brake each other to make room for the expansion of the change coming into you, via pain in your heart .

Your imaginary friend

Do you need a restraining order for your imaginary friend? Does he kill and hurt you and your love ones, but he loves you forever? We are kidnapped and love our captors. We have mass Stockholm syndrome.

Does he gives you thrills and gives you "pseudo deep thoughts quotes" rewritten endless times in an old book that is always new.

Does he look like you? Is it you? Is it personally yourself projecting your ideal person? Is he your alter ego? Of course he is omnipresent and omnipotent. It is you.

Is self hurting really hurting? Or is it preparation to the "eternal happiness" that will never come? That last climax that you will never get.  

Automutialation of your mind. The chemical energy constantly affecting us all. Consistent self hatred of your thoughts and feelings. We are the decaying bits of past failures past on by generations of fears and self limitations.

The lack of questions and accepting tradition blindly. We accept tradition as we accept Fairytales when you are a kid. We still defend the biggest fairytale of them all. The great illusion, the great lie, the mass blindnes,the biggest mass killing propaganda ever created. In the information age disinformation still the most effective tool of mass control.

What if...

What if we did things wrong somewhere else ,but what is wrong ? We are trying to fix it all through other dimensions between asleep and awake ,life and death. What if is never ending? Or if it does have an ending. Why did we have a beginning?

Why is it always magical origin? Why it all doesn't make sense?  What are the right pieces to play in this chess game called life?

"Enjoy life to the fullest." "Do what you will." Can we? In the back of our head always the doom of dying creeping up on us... The fear of dying of disease or an accident or the slow torture of the death row of life. Getting up every morning and not knowing if this is the last day.

Behave and do what this magical being tells you to do. Why do we follow a being that never speaks to us? Why doesn't he just come down and says what he wants. Why did we get created in the first place?
Why do we have a spiritual brain?  Do we tap to other parts of our brain to release other hormones to feel like we have an orgasm? What if the brain is the God? What if it was always there? How can we tap into it? The prayer and the never-ending chants to go in a state of meditation. Where do we go? What are we tapping?  How can we be sure? What is being sure of something that we are unsure?  We come to think that all is true and all is untrue.

What does it all mean?

We can heal by thought and we can die by it.
What is medicine if placebo is 30 percent effective? 

If is all an illusion what brakes it? What can we do to keep it?

The watchmen

They watch and affect your life. They do it out of pleasure to of the emotion radiating from the humans. They feed out of your fear, happiness,sadness and anger.

Busy mind

We keep busy so we don't think. We don't think so we keep busy. The perfect plan of a society made of puppet masters. Keep the people doing mindless things and make them believe they are making a difference.