Raising kids Distorted

I was raised the old school way when you talk out of line you felt it on your behind. I was no saint so I felt it,more than most. Now that I have a child don't want  that to happen to her. I want to talk to her and be able to let her express her inner self. I ask question for her to make her own decisions. After all we all do as we please,no matter what. Why should we think we are even able to control our child with pain? It only creates fearful beings. A child should be guided not modified like pavlov dog. This will create a more independent individual In my opinion. That's what we need them to be. Consious human being,able to see the big picture. Not a senseless goal oriented human. Show them to enjoy life simple things and honor other humans. No judgement of other people decisions. Don't show them to keep things for keeping them after all,material things stay behind when we die. Nobody will care about how much money you made we are all the same in death. Show your child to be in constant awe. Loving to explore and learn. Nowadays electronic devices has taken our child from reality. We have to get them back into reality,they need to get dirty,scratch,fall and all that we did. They need to see that playstation for us was the woods,not an electronic device that the only thing it does,is create zombies. T.V. Does the same if you are not careful. Use this tools carefully,they can be useful or they can be really detrimental for the childs development. Im no psychologist but I do use my common sense. If you talk to your child with secret and lies he will imitate you. If you don't stimulate his brain,he will never open his mind. If you are not affectionate he will underdevelop. Always keep In mind,just like you made bad and good decisions they will do the same. Controling a child creates a rebel instead of an ally. If there is something wrong that can kill them,you do have to get involved. But in the rest of the time,you can advice but dont try to enforce your will,is  there life,there will. You as a parent already had your chance only thing you can do is be there to share your experience and that is all.